On the wedding anniversary

Of the Johnson’s

They went out on a date.

Little Jimmy had strict orders

To be in bed, to be in bed by eight.

But little Jimmy knew they’d be late,

And he liked TV, he thought it was great…

He’s not alone…

Turning channels, Jimmy faltered

After hearing what he thought might have been

Creepy chuckles, scary breathing,

And the sounds of metal s-s-s-s-scraping on wood.

Hired by the Johnson’s that day

He’s professional

And likes things his way

Or not at all…

He’s for hire

The man upstairs

He’ll take care of you.



Jimmy grabbed the phone receiver,

Called the fuzz up

While he peed in his pants

Down the staircase

In the next room

Here he comes, kid,

Hatchet clutched in his hands.



Jimmy trembled and crept through the dark

Into the kitchen

Where all the knives are…

He’s not alone…

Here comes the man…



He’s for hire

The man upstairs

He’ll take care of you.



Can’t trust Mom, can’t trust Dad,

What do you do when your folks go bad?The man upstairs watched in terror

As Jimmy with a knife came flying through the air

Red light, blue light, cops burst in

They put a bunch of guns into their hands and then

The cops said “Freeze! You better stop now!

You better stop now or you’re gonna be dead, yeah.”

And they pumped little Jimmy full of lead

‘Cause they thought he was crazy in the head

And after that they heard a voice that said:

“I’m the man upstairs, I’m the man upstairs.”

He’s the man upstairs, he’s the man, he’s the man upstairs.